The difference between friend and enemy struck me in the story of Esther. Clearly, Haman is a man who desired power, who desired fame and authority, and probably ever-greater riches to accompany those desires. Haman, therefore, required that others give him honor, akin even to worship, something that Mordecai was not willing to give him, so Haman set out to destroy both Mordecai and all of the Jewish people in the kingdom.
Obviously, Haman is a foe, an enemy, and Esther clearly calls him out in front of the king as he asks her what request she would make of him:
Then Queen Esther answered, “If I have found favor with you, Your Majesty, and if it pleases you, grant me my life—this is my petition. And spare my people—this is my request. For I and my people have been sold to be destroyed, killed and annihilated. If we had merely been sold as male and female slaves, I would have kept quiet, because no such distress would justify disturbing the king.”
King Xerxes asked Queen Esther, “Who is he? Where is he—the man who has dared to do such a thing?”
Esther said, “An adversary and enemy! This vile Haman!”
Esther 7:3-6
On the other hand, we have Xerxes. He is the ruling king. So far, he doesn’t seem to have a specific desire to destroy the Jews, except to the extent that he agreed to allow Haman to make the declaration to kill the Jews in his name. It isn’t even clear to me that Xerxes knew which people that Haman was referring to. Haman even identified these people as those that don’t follow the king’s laws, conveniently leaving out the fact that the law that was being disobeyed was the one in which they must bow down to him, to Haman.
So Xerxes is a bit of a strange case because you could make the case, I think, that he is a friend. But at the same time, we have to recognize that he is the head of the kingdom that is ruling over the Israelites, over the people of God. So, in the same way that the Jews would have seen the Romans as their clear enemy in the time of Jesus, we might also see the Persian kingdom as the clear enemy of the Jews in that time.
Yet at the same time, we also see that, in the end, Xerxes relents to Esther, and also honors Mordecai. The Jews are allowed to not only live, but to defend themselves against enemies that come against them and gather together as a people.
So is Xerxes an enemy? That is a little less clear.
In our work, we connect regularly with people who are working against the kingdom that we serve. We routinely meet with adherents to Islam, those that belong to Mormonism, and many others. It is tempting, in the midst of those conversations, to consider ourselves enemies to these people. Their aims are not our aims. They may even be working against us specifically, attempting to ruin what we are trying to do, attempting to make us fail, if not worse.
But there are a few scriptures within the New Testament that these situations remind me of, scriptures that remind me how we should regard friends and enemies, most specifically our enemies. These are some of the more difficult verses in the Bible, in my opinion:
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Ephesians 6:12
Clearly, as believers, we are called to look beyond the flesh directly in front of us to the spiritual reality that sits behind that is driving the people to do what they are doing.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 5:38-48
Jesus goes even further here. He says that we must show love to our enemies. If someone slaps you, you simply turn the other cheek so that they can slap that one too. Or if they force you to do something, you do that and then double the work. Go an extra mile for your enemy.
And one more…
Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
Romans 5:9-11
We ourselves were God’s enemies, and what did he do? He came for us. He came to die for us…. while we were his enemies! If ever there was a “turn the other cheek” moment, wasn’t that it? Or didn’t Jesus go an extra mile, and then an extra mile, and then an extra mile yet?
So may we learn from Jesus and his example. Our flesh cries out justice! But our king says to let him take care of the justice. We, instead, need to rightly represent our king in the way that he calls us to be and to do.