When we have been wronged, the feelings, the emotions, can run very deep. When someone has done something wrong against us, we want justice for them. We want them to pay. We want retribution.
But when we remember what God has done for us, another side should emerge. Grace and mercy must also be considered.
I think that is the case with Philemon and Onesimus. Onesimus was a servant – in reality, a slave – in Philemon’s house. Philemon was a believer that, through an interaction at some point in time, had come to faith in Christ through Paul.
Yet Onesimus had shown up in Rome where Paul was a prisoner and had become a helper to Paul. Through their interaction, Onesimus also became a believer, but was now returning back to Philemon with this letter from Paul who was asking Philemon for mercy upon Onesimus.
So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me.
Philemon 1:17-18
Paul does two things in this case. First, he sends Onesimus back to face justice for what he has done. He had become useless to Philemon and he had run away from Philemon’s house. He may have even stolen from Philemon. He should pay. Onesimus should receive justice for what he had done.
Yet, on the other hand, Onesimus had become a believer and had changed. He became just as Philemon had become. He now followed and served Christ.
We can only begin to imagine what Philemon must have thought when he saw Onesimus returning back to his house. Maybe he felt those emotions in a desire for justice for Onesimus. Maybe he actually wanted to harm him. Maybe he was ready to do even worse for what Onesimus had done against him.
But Paul, through his letter, pled for mercy for Onesimus. He reminded Philemon that Philemon even owed him, Paul, his very life.
Why? Because Paul had prevented him from getting hit on the road?
No, it wasn’t this type of saving that Paul did for him. Instead, Paul had led him to eternal life in Christ, and it was with this perspective and the value of knowing Christ in this way that Philemon owed his life to Paul.
So, because Philemon had been given grace, he should also give grace to others.
This situation is a direct practical application to the parable that Jesus told of the unforgiving servant:
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
“At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Matthew 18:21-35
Each of us, if we are in Christ, have had our debts cancelled. Our sin is a great debt that hangs around each of our necks but Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross was payment for that debt. It was a cancellation of the debt caused by our sin and God has given us great grace and mercy as a result. There has been justice, but that justice is has been placed upon Jesus instead of upon us.
So we also must forgive. We must do what is unjust and give grace and mercy because we have been given grace and mercy. We must overcome the emotions and feelings, our desire to exact revenge when we are feeling the need for justice, and instead offer forgiveness to others. We were forgiven and so we must offer forgiveness as well.